Tag: donna

June 6, 2016: Keep your politics in your caregiving

One of the great fortunes I have had in the process of helping Mom has been being forced to dismantle a lot of white male privilege within myself. The post goes on, I won’t do it a second time but in a sentence: Many– too many– of the skills needed to be a caregiver are… Continue reading June 6, 2016: Keep your politics in your caregiving

December 20, 2015: Why Christmas is so hard now

I admit to having an internally visceral response to even considering re-reading this material– the Xmas of the first year Mom was home with me was one of the harder times for me to get through, and while I do not wish to suppress the emotions associated with what I learned about myself and this… Continue reading December 20, 2015: Why Christmas is so hard now

July 31, 2015: Mom has a health crisis

This particular time frame isn’t explicated beyond the immediate moments of terror with Mom and her collapsing condition that particular day, but when I referred to things being better in the prior two months as I wrote this, there were a few things I didn’t get into detail about that were also part of what… Continue reading July 31, 2015: Mom has a health crisis

May 2, 2015: Mom and I begin visiting local parks

Perhaps if there is one theme to what I have learned about being with someone who has dementia, it is that confidence in what you are doing and not being afraid to take risks is a central key to knowing you are on the “right track.” Over the course of the 3.5 years I’ve been… Continue reading May 2, 2015: Mom and I begin visiting local parks

April 6, 2015: Pep talk to myself about our respective roles

In the transition to being “fully in charge” of my mother, one major advantage we have over many children tying to help struggling parents is that we have been dealing with cerebral issues and my intervention in Mom’s personal space as a matter of necessity since 2005. The adjustment was more problematic when I was… Continue reading April 6, 2015: Pep talk to myself about our respective roles

January 2, 2015: Mom gets up after I helped her to bed

If there is one major problem caregivers of a loved one with dementia face that nearly all people know about, it’s likely that of midnight wandering. In November prior to this, I was confronted with Mom getting lost in the neighbourhood but two months later I was well into a ‘new normal’ that would include… Continue reading January 2, 2015: Mom gets up after I helped her to bed

December 4, 2014: Mom comes home from a hospital visit

I spent the first several months in a strange, awful daze. Never mind the problems I had never dealt with– incontinence, non-delerium confusion, attempts to navigate her own neighbourhood falling apart– but she was also leaving me as a person who would have either insight or a leading role in answering historical family questions. I… Continue reading December 4, 2014: Mom comes home from a hospital visit

November 14, 2014: Mom has been home for two weeks

In this time and place, Mom was going through extreme difficulties in making the transition from living mostly independently in the Retirement Residence called the Mullberry. Owing to escalating cognitive problems– as well as a manager that had been hired and proceeded over a few months to evict several elders, harass a few others into… Continue reading November 14, 2014: Mom has been home for two weeks