If there is one major problem caregivers of a loved one with dementia face that nearly all people know about, it’s likely that of midnight wandering. In November prior to this, I was confronted with Mom getting lost in the neighbourhood but two months later I was well into a ‘new normal’ that would include often being lost at home. This confusion also affects internal clocks– i.e., if you waken at midnight after a two hour nap, you are far more likely to assume you slept a full night, ignore the clocks or even the outdoor darkness, and simply decide that it is no longer sleeping time.
Of course, determining when to get up and walk around may affect your productivity or alertness when you live alone, but when you are in need of help from someone else, midnight decisions to get up and change what’s going on are truly problematic for many, many reasons. Not least of these is that caregivers operating on 2 hours sleep are safe to neither the elder or themselves.
But I have had only one or two moments like the one below– and these are great. Long before I realized just how deeply music continued to stir new storms of passion inside her, despite all cognitive changes, she gave me a hint I was yet to heed– as one night early into January 2015 I remember being out here sipping a glass of red wine and listening to a few of my favourite Phil Ochs songs– “White Boots Marching in a Yellow Land” remains one of them to this day, and I vividly recall her intervention that night as I took it in yet again.
January 2, 2015
There are times I love mom, and then there are times I love her more. She was sleeping, and got up which normally is a production. She heard the Phil Ochs tunes and wanted to enjoy the resistance of her day to music before going back to bed. Like I said– there are times I love her, and times I love her more. Thanks mom. You getting up was actually good tonight.