There are only a couple of weeks a year that exist in Vancouver hot enough to be dangerous. The danger, of course, escalates with your age. So how do we have lives together that are also safe? Fortunately, we have lakes.
Mom and I have learned to love going to Deer Lake often. In fact, when we arrive at the lake Mom now knows the various places– I have names for them for us: The turtle spot, the heron nests spot, the main beach, the fishing beach, where we like to sit and enjoy the view… these are most of our favourite places by the names we understand. Having mom give directions– even loosely– is amazing & more than evidence of sufficient reason to go here.
So, if we go early, we can enjoy time outside together– provided we find a place in the shade. The weather in the last few days has been enough to make me sweat and get cranky and tired almost immediately when we leave the home. Taking a Handydart together is about the only way to manage this trip safely. Normally I would walk the 3 blocks to catch a bus, and then the two and a half blocks at the other end to go to the lake– but if you are pushing 120 + pounds of smiling Donna, you have to be able to protect yourself.
Don’t let yourself get over-heated, and thus, an awful caregiver. It is many times more important to do whatever you must to avoid having total or partial breakdown among the days challenges. When this happens– it did to me a couple of summers ago– you can’t think, and start making very dangerous errors all over the place. You can walk into traffic, you can not notice that the elder has a leg dangling from the foot rest, in danger of snapping along the sidewalk, you can very easily misplace things.
There is little to no chance– especially in a capitalist country– that a solo caregiver won’t already suffer some level of cognitive issues. These can come as a result of prolonged isolation, prolonged depression, or just the symptoms of burnout that is unaddressed. When you tack on heat exhaustion– which comes on much faster for a caregiver who is exerting constantly–the dangers rise.
We found ways to do this because we both gain something from it– Mom gets stimulated through long conversations with local ducks and more. This past Wednesday, Mom was determined to be the greatest place to nap ever for a particular dragon fly– it landed on Mom, she spoke to it. It flew in a little circle above her, and re-landed on her knee. Over and again, it would take off for a few seconds and re-land. It was still with mom when we finally had to leave.
Myself, I managed to simply enjoy being in a shady spot with a tree, smelling the area and waiting on the passing sun. It’s not the greatest, but it is a very satisfying day– a day where the weather itself is a serious health risk.
But, as maybe always, the even greater risk is to not live. When summer hits, we all have various ways we enjoy it. Mom is no different. It’s just a lot more involved. Yet the true joy is what makes it worth it? Yeah, that’s a lot simpler than ever before. And in the simplicity is wisdom.