I desperately need the breaks I manage to go on, but there are down sides. I generally don’t let mom stay at respites for more than 10 days, if she is there longer when she comes back I see serious, obvious decline (as simple as she was getting used to having things she didn’t need to be done *for* her, always done for her). This creates dependency and must be avoided. But it’s just “how things are done” in care.
September 23, 2016
Mom got home two nights ago. Her voice is a little off, I think the nurses/staff where she stayed didn’t get her puffers into her properly and she’s dehydrated again. I explained “Don’t ask if she wants a drink, just pour juice mixed with water and she will say thank you,” they ignored me and she refused the offer of drinks.
She also had some things personal packed with her to use, and they were also itemized by myself when I brought her in– they came back completely unused. And some of her things went missing– apparently after my phone call they have found the missing clothes.
That’s what happened in only one week away, and at one of the better places for her to be. Meanwhile, when we got home she started to demand “Where’s my Mollie!” with joy. Once she was out on her couch here, and I got her a coffee the way she likes it and Mollie was beside her, I asked: “Does it feel good to be home mom?”– Very affirmative. Better exchange here though:
“Do you like it here better than where you were, mom?”
“Do I even have to say it?” she replies. (Character answers are so much more than “yes.”) I replied, smugly,
“Just wanted to hear it from you, mom. There’s a World Cup hockey game on tonight.”
And with that, mom is home in more than just body– but heart, mind and spirit.